​Noni's special for us here in Her Umbrella is her amazing Goddess package 📦 for only $158. This includes either a black obsidian or rose quartz yoni egg and a rose quartz or black obsidian virgin wand 🙌🏻❤️

www.nonicroft.com

The following contains information that may be distressing, if so please seek help:
​If you need someone to talk to, call Kids helpline 1800 55 1800 or Lifeline 13 11 14.

There's no pretty picture to paint, no words to describe the actions of self indulgent & entitled perpetrators of sexual violence. 

There is however value in sharing how to achieve freedom from fear, how to rise up & recover from sexual assault.  
The individual times I have been singled out & seen as physical object is more than you can count on your hands.
Asserting physical power over someone else or acting without consent is not strength or power, it is a deep weakness & level of mental depravity that goes against our nature as innately intelligent, compassionate & community based beings. 

The most heartbreaking was not the assault itself to me, it was the pattern that become ingrained, the niggling internal message learnt from experiencing Childhood Sexual Assault... I had believed that.. It.was.my.fault.
The uninvited gropes, the unwelcome & unsettling invasion of my personal space, the being preyed upon. Preyed upon became the normal & self punishment was my fluent language.

How do you stand strong when your emotional patterns have been based on rape & invasion? 

When from birth physical love was painful.

When you are practiced on by your female cousin at 6 years old. When you survive an attempted gang rape at the hands of a gangly tall high school classmate & his friend as they assert their teenage insecurities.  

When it's easier to hide the deep carpet burns down your spine from a rape experienced in your own bedroom thinking the whole time keeping silent was more important than waking your mother.  

Honestly, our internal beliefs are sometimes the biggest barrier from safety & self care, for me this was true. It is still NEVER your fault if someone oversteps boundaries for their own sense of power & momentary satisfaction.   
  
Sexual Assault. It.was.Not.my.fault. 

The physicality of sexual assault felt momentary for me, I was well versed at outer body experiences. It was the emotional complexities, scars on my sexuality & wounds which when I left them untreated simply continued to bleed into my actions, reactions, responses & relationships.

Starting with my childs mind which had no reasoning, no comprehension of why I was being sexually assaulted, so it simply internalised & self blamed. I was hard wired from birth to comply, be silent, behave, be hurt, comply, be silent, behave, be hurt... 

I validated the 'it's my fault' beliefs by self punishing & disconnecting from my physical body which I believed had attracted the unwanted attention by being female. I pushed harder at the gym & entertained self deprivation with strict dieting with the motivation to not have womanly curves or breasts. Sadly the social isolation & extreme discipline never filled the void of softness, care & nourishing my soul needed.

There comes a time when it all just falls apart & you get exhausted from brutalizing yourself. If this sounds like you then perhaps like me you will have a light bulb moment where you realise movement isn't for punishment. That it is a beautiful expression, it can be fun, laughter filled, gently focused & incredibly soothing. It is never 'exercises' fault, it is simply the way we perceive exercise & use it either for nourishment or punishment.

I took a rough path to discover & reconnect to my mind & body after trauma. I am so grateful to be out the other side & I see the value of the journey because it was a beautiful lesson & from it I learnt one of the most powerful statements I have heard....

Patterns. Can. Change.

You can relearn & find a new healthy loving normal. Does it feel like you wake up & have to learn how to walk every damn day? yes. Does it become easier? yes. Is it a journey worth going on? YES. I am living proof patterns can, will & do change & it is never too late or early to change.  

I do not wish to re-injure myself or others who have experienced sexual assault. My hope is to allow a space where we talk openly, without shame, where we can clear our pain & move on to experience life without looking over our shoulder in fear or regret. Where we don't get sucked into the funnel of punishing ourselves for something that wasn't our fault. 

I like to imagine it as having lived in complete darkness to then suddenly experiencing the feeling of warm bright sunlight. It is revealing, empowering & possible.

What would you tell your younger self? I would tell her to trust her gut instinct, allow herself complete body awareness without shame, completely own her sexuality, trust her sense of self & self expression then allow that positive confidence to flow into relationships with others & encourage others to do the same. 

After two decades of counseling, psychology & alternative healing, I feel each served a collective purpose towards where I am today. I have had wonderful & not so wonderful experiences in all modalities & I think we will all experience healing in our own ways. 

Some of the most empowering healing modalities I have found & have formed into lifelong positive habit of, are the beautiful practices of the 8 Principles of yoga, the physical practice of Yoga and the connection to self & reclaiming of my body through crystal yoni egg & meditation practice.

To be connected to your physical body with such gentle mental focus is incredibly healing, empowering & like nothing else on earth.   

​The time we take between thought & action is what determines the outcome, I am simply someone who kept seeking my truth & I hope you seek yours. 

By,
Noni Croft xo

www.nonicroft.com

​A massage therapist that truly listens and responds accordingly makes a difference. 2019 is the year of self care, please give yourself some well earned love and book a massage today. This offer is for this week only, normal price is $70.00.

www.facebook.com/CoralCoastMassage/

Creating Her Umbrella magazine has been of the most amazing things I have ever done!  For our second issue we had 12 contributors, 3 editors, 1 photographer, an event planner and (a partridge in a pear tree) or not ... but so many more.  ​To say we are grateful for the support is the biggest understatement ever issued!  There is no way possible that we could have done it without every single person that was involved.

The amazing business women involved are listed below:
Katarina Wurzbacher - https://www.facebook.com/herumbrella/
Katie Laurie - https://www.facebook.com/happinessyogaau/
Karina Anderson - https://www.facebook.com/karinamaephotography/
Noni Croft - https://www.facebook.com/hellononicroft/
Peta Groszmann - https://www.facebook.com/groszmannconstructions/
Sandra Reeves - https://www.facebook.com/NewVintageBundy/
Merissa Craft - https://www.facebook.com/ParagonTheatre/
Angela Nason - https://www.facebook.com/ANasonsCreations/
Kay Knight - https://www.facebook.com/AdminProSolutionsOffice/
Tamar Boas - https://www.facebook.com/TamiBHomeopathy/
Cara Beresford - https://www.facebook.com/Infusionhairandbeauty/
Sarah Tump - https://www.facebook.com/SarahTumpStoryteller/